One time, when I was probably about 12, I was in my mom's sock drawer (where NORMAL people keep ONLY socks) searching from some no-shows. Digging frantically to the bottom, I stumbled upon a book called (you guessed it) "The Joy of Sex". Somewhat embarrassed (and TOTALLY disgusted) I quickly shut the drawer, left without my socks, and thought of how completely terrible it was that my parents actually did things so appalling. I swore to myself that day that I would NEVER have sex... EVER.
Well, one day in April of last year, I decided to give up that vow and just do it... but ONLY once... and I got THIS beautiful thing because of that lapse in judgement.
And although I was scared to death (I remember vividly standing in the hospital parking lot at 11:58pm on January 6th, waiting to walk in to be induced, in tears telling Stephen "I don't want to do this!" And him then telling me I didn't have a choice!) I would do it all over and over again.
These last three weeks have been full of rough times, but the good outweighs the bad every single time I do the math. I was so worried that Stephen and I would start to drift apart, but the assistance he has given over the past three weeks has made me learn to love and appreciate him even more than I ever did before. The way he looks at Brooks has made me see a more gentle side of him than I have ever experienced. We have spent more time together as a team, giving baths, cleaning house, playing with Brooks... and it is making us grow closer.
Stephen went back to work on Monday. I was really scared and I actually remember crying when he left for work. But things haven't been too bad... I have even been working from home every day this week (which is nice to have some adult interaction now). Erica Healey came over Monday and let me take a shower, did my dishes, and folded laundry. She is such a good friend (even BEFORE Brooks got here). Wednesday was the first day we didn't have any visitors since Brooks was born. It was nice to have some family time. Thursday, I thought Colic was setting in, but today has been much better so it might have been a false alarm.
I love being a mom. Every single thing about it. Not showering for three days, not being able to eat lunch until Brooks falls asleep, nights of three hours of sleep, the poopie diapers, getting peed on every single time I change a diaper because Brooks can't aim well yet, wearing the same clothes for three days that got pee on them from Brooks not being able to aim well yet, trying to figure out what's wrong with a screaming kid who won't take a boob (or a bottle), isn't wet, and isn't poopie... there is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all! And despite how many tears I cried thinking how terrible it was going to be... I have decided that all of those things, the dirty diapers and lack of sleep included, are the TRUE Joys of Sex. So sorry Mr. Alex Comfort, your book sucks!!! Because it doesn't talk about ANY of those things. You were wrong.